This is so wonderful that you can spot the signs of your daughter's independence. It's so easy to stick in a groove of parenting at the same level no matter the age or life stage, and choosing to trust our kids with their own care and futures is hard. And it takes a bit of searching. And our own growth. But has such beautiful rewards, not only in how our kids find their own astonishing ways to blossom, but how our relationships with them move into an easier, more relaxed place.
So true, Martina! It is so hard to let go and requires so much trust from us as parents. Sounds like you are ahead of me on this road and you've seen those rewards yourself. Thanks for the vision of what could be!
Thank you for this honest story! I have a granddaughter that fits a great deal of this description, so this helps me know what to watch for and how to encourage her.
Love this: “But now, my daughter is determined to make college work. Even as her health challenges have intensified, she has dug in her heels with tenacity.”
And love your perspective here Serena. You’re an inspiration to all parents.
I can't get it either on desktop so I made a note in notepad and copy/paste. If I'm on my phone, then I hold down the "e" on my keyboard to choose the "é". 😁
It is so encouraging to hear about Ellie's progress (even though I hurt for her hard times). Reading your post helps me to tabulate the ways that my neurodiverse daughters are succeeding since they moved into their own apartment. Even though I would like to swoop in and do a bunch of things for them, I am seeing firm evidence that they are (slowly) making it on their own.
Hey Margaret Ann! I'm so glad to hear about how your daughters are doing - and that they are succeeding! It's all about perspective, right? Thanks for cheering Ellie on, too! I totally relate to the desire to swoop in and rescue my kid. All. The. Time.
I loved reading this! Both my children (a recent college graduate and a current college senior) have had their own struggles with college and have successfully navigated the college experience that worked/works best for them. NO, it doesn't look like the carefully curated marketing images that the school's distribute but that doesn't mean its not a good experience. And, so many of the things they learn about asking for help and understanding their own limits are skills that they will use from now on. I hope your daughter's experience continues to evolve into what is best for her!
Ooh thanks for sharing about your kids and their unique college journeys. It's so great to hear about other kids, who are farther along in the journey, and how they navigated challenges to find their own way in college. I agree - sometimes the struggle is about so much more than the present-day challenge, and the skills are ones they need long-term. I hope your young adults keep finding their way.
Every story I hear about your daughter makes my heart break a little bit then I am totally cheering her on as she fights the good fight. I love how she refuses to be overcome yet determines to be an overcomer. I am so on her side and would support her tenacity to find what works and not give up before she does. Good job, Serena! Her success story is possible because of what she has learned from you and your husband.
Thanks for cheering my daughter on, Jane! Appreciate your encouraging words. I am also proud of Ellie and her determination to keep going, even when it's hard. Some days are harder than others but she keeps putting one foot in front of the other.
It seems like it's been a difficult few weeks as a parent, Serena. But it's comforting that you see differences with last fall and signs of improvement. Your post has useful insights for all parents of teenagers.
Thanks Moritz! Yes, it has been hard. But writing this post, ironically, helped me to identify the good in the midst of the hard. It's confusing to hold both at the same time but important to do so, too!
This is so wonderful that you can spot the signs of your daughter's independence. It's so easy to stick in a groove of parenting at the same level no matter the age or life stage, and choosing to trust our kids with their own care and futures is hard. And it takes a bit of searching. And our own growth. But has such beautiful rewards, not only in how our kids find their own astonishing ways to blossom, but how our relationships with them move into an easier, more relaxed place.
So true, Martina! It is so hard to let go and requires so much trust from us as parents. Sounds like you are ahead of me on this road and you've seen those rewards yourself. Thanks for the vision of what could be!
Thank you for this honest story! I have a granddaughter that fits a great deal of this description, so this helps me know what to watch for and how to encourage her.
Hey Mimi, thanks for sharing! Sorry that your granddaughter is struggling, but I'm glad this post was helpful to you.
I'm a Mimi too! Love your Substack name!
Dawn-Renee, thank you! Everytime I read essays about niche writing, I think about changing it. But Mimi is my favorite person to be, so it will stay!
I agree! I have a personal Substack for my memoir called Frustrated Frazzled and Fed-Up, and the domain name is One Tired Mimi. 🤣
https://onetiredmimi.substack.com/
Love this: “But now, my daughter is determined to make college work. Even as her health challenges have intensified, she has dug in her heels with tenacity.”
And love your perspective here Serena. You’re an inspiration to all parents.
Aww thanks so much, James!
Wonderfully written! It's hard letting them branch out independently. You're doing a great job!
Thanks so much, Dawn-Renee! (why can’t I get the accent mark to cooperate on Substack?)
I can't get it either on desktop so I made a note in notepad and copy/paste. If I'm on my phone, then I hold down the "e" on my keyboard to choose the "é". 😁
Thank you for sharing your story! Your hopeful outlook and courage is such a beautiful model for us all. ❤️
Thanks 🙏 Ann!
It is so encouraging to hear about Ellie's progress (even though I hurt for her hard times). Reading your post helps me to tabulate the ways that my neurodiverse daughters are succeeding since they moved into their own apartment. Even though I would like to swoop in and do a bunch of things for them, I am seeing firm evidence that they are (slowly) making it on their own.
Hey Margaret Ann! I'm so glad to hear about how your daughters are doing - and that they are succeeding! It's all about perspective, right? Thanks for cheering Ellie on, too! I totally relate to the desire to swoop in and rescue my kid. All. The. Time.
I loved reading this! Both my children (a recent college graduate and a current college senior) have had their own struggles with college and have successfully navigated the college experience that worked/works best for them. NO, it doesn't look like the carefully curated marketing images that the school's distribute but that doesn't mean its not a good experience. And, so many of the things they learn about asking for help and understanding their own limits are skills that they will use from now on. I hope your daughter's experience continues to evolve into what is best for her!
Ooh thanks for sharing about your kids and their unique college journeys. It's so great to hear about other kids, who are farther along in the journey, and how they navigated challenges to find their own way in college. I agree - sometimes the struggle is about so much more than the present-day challenge, and the skills are ones they need long-term. I hope your young adults keep finding their way.
Only in adversity, whether proven or potential, do people truly find friends.
——Blindness (written by José Saramago)
فقط في الشدائد، سواء كانت مؤكدة أو محتملة، يجد الناس أصدقاء حقيقيين.
——العمى
What a profound quote! Thanks for sharing, Deer Forest!
A person's worth does not lie in what they have done, but in what they can still do.
——Metamorphosis (written by Franz Kafka)
لا تكمن قيمة الإنسان فيما فعله، بل فيما يستطيع أن يفعله.
——التحول
So glad that Ellie is persisting in the midst of challenges and that you are able to stay hopeful and encourage others along the way.💕
Thanks so much, Janice!
Every story I hear about your daughter makes my heart break a little bit then I am totally cheering her on as she fights the good fight. I love how she refuses to be overcome yet determines to be an overcomer. I am so on her side and would support her tenacity to find what works and not give up before she does. Good job, Serena! Her success story is possible because of what she has learned from you and your husband.
Thanks for cheering my daughter on, Jane! Appreciate your encouraging words. I am also proud of Ellie and her determination to keep going, even when it's hard. Some days are harder than others but she keeps putting one foot in front of the other.
It seems like it's been a difficult few weeks as a parent, Serena. But it's comforting that you see differences with last fall and signs of improvement. Your post has useful insights for all parents of teenagers.
Thanks Moritz! Yes, it has been hard. But writing this post, ironically, helped me to identify the good in the midst of the hard. It's confusing to hold both at the same time but important to do so, too!