Such a beautiful story, all encapsulated in this: “It gave us the ability to include our daughter in an adventure, while she invited us into hers.” I admire your family’s intentionality and courage.
@SerenaMenken This piece is so powerful and filled with unconditional love. I have a child who lives with anxiety and depression. When we were both younger, I would find myself being inwardly impatient and stressed. Not anymore.
I learned to accept my child as they are, respecting that their troubles are real, reminding myself that they didn’t and wouldn’t willingly choose the anxiety or depression. Acceptance and passion allowed my heart grow in understanding and compassion.
I now allow my child to totally be themselves, and I’m much more mindful and attuned to when they’re starting to feel anxious. There is an instant pivot and a time of quiet or rest depending on what they need at the moment. If that means leaving a restaurant early because the noise is overwhelming or spontaneously changing “the plan,“ that’s what we do.
Talking calmly and quietly helps calm them. They’re receiving the necessary medical care and we’ve grown closer because there is an unconditional love there now that I wasn’t mature enough to pray ice or understand even a year ago.
Thank you for sharing your story. I see my own in your writing, which is so beautiful. May God bless you all 💟
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Lisa! I can definitely relate to feeling impatient and stressed when facing my daughter's depression and anxiety, and I often tried to change her or "fix" her, as if I had that power! I love how you moved to acceptance and empathy for your child. It sounds like you are such a great support as a parent! I am also learning, like you, to adjust the plan for my kid's needs and to plan differently with those needs in mind. How cool that you have grown closer to your kid as a result!
Thank you, Serena. It was definitely a process but I’ve learned I can’t yell or be scary because that just makes things worse. Keep writing because you don’t know whose life you’re touching. You’re a prolific writer with a true gift of expression and I enjoy reading all of your essays. We can encourage each other! I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers 💛💛💛
Aww thanks so much @Lisa Lee Mills! Appreciate your encouragement. I’d love to stay in touch to encourage each other. Will be praying for your family too!
I love this: "Even though Ellie was in a wheelchair, we forgot about its presence, because it was doing what it was supposed to do. It gave us the ability to include our daughter in an adventure, while she invited us into hers."
Truthfully, I have a lot to learn in this area. We've done some shorter family trips that have still proven really challenging when we didn't take our daughters' ED/ND needs into account. Thank you for writing this--it inspires me to do better.
Thanks @Margaret Ann Silver for sharing your perspective. Even though we’ve done family vacations for 4 years with our daughter since she got really sick with her ED, I still find it challenging to know how to adjust well for her various needs. I think this was our most successful vacation so far, but it’s taken a lot of work and mistakes to get there. I am still learning!
Our vacations used to be packed with days of sightseeing until my husband's catastrophic accident when he fell off the roof. Since then we've had much slower vacations, resting by the lake, though I've needed them too with some of my fatigue issues. We don't feel compelled to conquer as much, though we still do some sightseeing, but consider our vacations a time to rest and recover.
Hi @Kathleen Rouser - oohh your husband fell off a roof…. ouch! I’m sure that has been a life-changing experience. My husband and daughter have both struggled with fatigue issues too (although my husband is much better now - but it was a tough few years in his late twenties). Sounds like we are pretty aligned in how we are seeing vacations, in light of our realities. Thanks for sharing.
Such a beautiful story, all encapsulated in this: “It gave us the ability to include our daughter in an adventure, while she invited us into hers.” I admire your family’s intentionality and courage.
Thanks @James Bailey! Appreciate your support!
@SerenaMenken This piece is so powerful and filled with unconditional love. I have a child who lives with anxiety and depression. When we were both younger, I would find myself being inwardly impatient and stressed. Not anymore.
I learned to accept my child as they are, respecting that their troubles are real, reminding myself that they didn’t and wouldn’t willingly choose the anxiety or depression. Acceptance and passion allowed my heart grow in understanding and compassion.
I now allow my child to totally be themselves, and I’m much more mindful and attuned to when they’re starting to feel anxious. There is an instant pivot and a time of quiet or rest depending on what they need at the moment. If that means leaving a restaurant early because the noise is overwhelming or spontaneously changing “the plan,“ that’s what we do.
Talking calmly and quietly helps calm them. They’re receiving the necessary medical care and we’ve grown closer because there is an unconditional love there now that I wasn’t mature enough to pray ice or understand even a year ago.
Thank you for sharing your story. I see my own in your writing, which is so beautiful. May God bless you all 💟
The next to the last paragraph should read “I wasn’t mature enough to practice.”
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Lisa! I can definitely relate to feeling impatient and stressed when facing my daughter's depression and anxiety, and I often tried to change her or "fix" her, as if I had that power! I love how you moved to acceptance and empathy for your child. It sounds like you are such a great support as a parent! I am also learning, like you, to adjust the plan for my kid's needs and to plan differently with those needs in mind. How cool that you have grown closer to your kid as a result!
Thank you, Serena. It was definitely a process but I’ve learned I can’t yell or be scary because that just makes things worse. Keep writing because you don’t know whose life you’re touching. You’re a prolific writer with a true gift of expression and I enjoy reading all of your essays. We can encourage each other! I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers 💛💛💛
Aww thanks so much @Lisa Lee Mills! Appreciate your encouragement. I’d love to stay in touch to encourage each other. Will be praying for your family too!
Thank you so much. Hugs.
I love this: "Even though Ellie was in a wheelchair, we forgot about its presence, because it was doing what it was supposed to do. It gave us the ability to include our daughter in an adventure, while she invited us into hers."
Truthfully, I have a lot to learn in this area. We've done some shorter family trips that have still proven really challenging when we didn't take our daughters' ED/ND needs into account. Thank you for writing this--it inspires me to do better.
Thanks @Margaret Ann Silver for sharing your perspective. Even though we’ve done family vacations for 4 years with our daughter since she got really sick with her ED, I still find it challenging to know how to adjust well for her various needs. I think this was our most successful vacation so far, but it’s taken a lot of work and mistakes to get there. I am still learning!
Our vacations used to be packed with days of sightseeing until my husband's catastrophic accident when he fell off the roof. Since then we've had much slower vacations, resting by the lake, though I've needed them too with some of my fatigue issues. We don't feel compelled to conquer as much, though we still do some sightseeing, but consider our vacations a time to rest and recover.
Hi @Kathleen Rouser - oohh your husband fell off a roof…. ouch! I’m sure that has been a life-changing experience. My husband and daughter have both struggled with fatigue issues too (although my husband is much better now - but it was a tough few years in his late twenties). Sounds like we are pretty aligned in how we are seeing vacations, in light of our realities. Thanks for sharing.
I love this. Holland not the mountains.
Peter also sounds like my husband, who too is competing in a mysterious event not to spend money on ordinary things 😂
hahahaha - maybe they should hang out together! They could inspire each other!