My heartfelt condolences for your loss, Serena. It's beautiful that you all had such a wonderful Thanksgiving. Sitting alongside you and your family. xo
Thanks Victoria! I'm so thankful for that time together! Do you have any tips for supporting my aunt after her long stint as a caregiver? I bet you have so many resources...
Yes, I'm sure those are precious memories now. We're each very different in how we grieve or navigate through life-changing events. So I wouldn't like to presume I know how Sue feels or the best ways to support her. An overarching idea is just as you said, to be mindfully present and empathetic and offer time and space for Sue to share whatever she wishes to share, rest, or ask for help. Asking for help is difficult when we don't know what we need in the first place!
From what you've shared, I'm sure she's feeling exhausted and grief compounds this. Now, suddenly, the core purpose of her everyday routine has changed, so it'll feel weird. Not everyone likes to have a lot of people around them in a time of grief. Whilst some want to travel, or see lots of people. Everyone's different.
In every case, there are practical things like executing the will, informing banks, etc, that's a lot of admin, in addition to sorting out clothes, etc, - all emotionally draining.
I guess my bottom line is to gently ask Sue herself by suggesting ways you/the family COULD support her and go along with however/whatever she wishes. In this way, you can temp-check how active she's feeling or rally the family's help. Feel free to DM me or connect us if you think I can help. FYI online or IRL there are 'former caregiving' forums. Also, both Janice Walton and Sue Fagalde Lick are former long term caregivers.
Thank you for sharing your compassion and encouragement through your writing. This comes at a time when I am coming to terms with my sister's death. After a year of seemingly getting better almost by the day, she suddenly started going downhill and passed away last Friday, exactly 53 weeks after being released from the hospital on hospice.
Friends who endure over the long haul are the perfect life journey companions. I know what you mean about appreciating the value of true friends who walk beside you through it all.
Oh Jane, I'm so sorry to hear about your dear sister. How hard and shocking when you started to hope that she was getting better! And what a long time to be in hospice. Hoping you have many loving companions alongside you right now as you grieve and make arrangements. Big hugs!
Thanks Maria - taking in that blessing and peace. Wow, I would love to hear more about your time as a hospice chaplain - what an opportunity to offer quiet presence in a sacred moment. And yet, what courage it must have taken. Thanks for sharing.
A beautiful read, Serena. My condolences on the loss of your Uncle. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about presence. As a parent to a teen with health challenges this resonated deeply.
Thanks Tracy! So glad it resonated deeply. I've been thinking about both how we need presence as parents and how we can offer presence to our kids with health challenges... both are true. Hugs to you!
My heartfelt condolences for your loss, Serena. It's beautiful that you all had such a wonderful Thanksgiving. Sitting alongside you and your family. xo
Thanks Victoria! I'm so thankful for that time together! Do you have any tips for supporting my aunt after her long stint as a caregiver? I bet you have so many resources...
Yes, I'm sure those are precious memories now. We're each very different in how we grieve or navigate through life-changing events. So I wouldn't like to presume I know how Sue feels or the best ways to support her. An overarching idea is just as you said, to be mindfully present and empathetic and offer time and space for Sue to share whatever she wishes to share, rest, or ask for help. Asking for help is difficult when we don't know what we need in the first place!
From what you've shared, I'm sure she's feeling exhausted and grief compounds this. Now, suddenly, the core purpose of her everyday routine has changed, so it'll feel weird. Not everyone likes to have a lot of people around them in a time of grief. Whilst some want to travel, or see lots of people. Everyone's different.
In every case, there are practical things like executing the will, informing banks, etc, that's a lot of admin, in addition to sorting out clothes, etc, - all emotionally draining.
I guess my bottom line is to gently ask Sue herself by suggesting ways you/the family COULD support her and go along with however/whatever she wishes. In this way, you can temp-check how active she's feeling or rally the family's help. Feel free to DM me or connect us if you think I can help. FYI online or IRL there are 'former caregiving' forums. Also, both Janice Walton and Sue Fagalde Lick are former long term caregivers.
I knew you’d have so much wisdom on this topic. Thank you Victoria!
You're welcome Serena, I'm happy to share more thoughts or answer Qs if you need them, just DM me. It's a tough time for all your family. take care xo
Grateful for you, Victoria!
How's Sue doing, Serena?
Thank you for sharing your compassion and encouragement through your writing. This comes at a time when I am coming to terms with my sister's death. After a year of seemingly getting better almost by the day, she suddenly started going downhill and passed away last Friday, exactly 53 weeks after being released from the hospital on hospice.
Friends who endure over the long haul are the perfect life journey companions. I know what you mean about appreciating the value of true friends who walk beside you through it all.
Oh Jane, I'm so sorry to hear about your dear sister. How hard and shocking when you started to hope that she was getting better! And what a long time to be in hospice. Hoping you have many loving companions alongside you right now as you grieve and make arrangements. Big hugs!
I have the most beautiful support system. My circle of friends are straight from the loving heart of God.
So beautifully put - ' as the journey grows longer and solutions become more complicated, I crave presence more than advice'.
Blessings and peace to you and your beloved ones. I was a hospice chaplain which was the quiet privilege of a lifetime.
Thanks Maria - taking in that blessing and peace. Wow, I would love to hear more about your time as a hospice chaplain - what an opportunity to offer quiet presence in a sacred moment. And yet, what courage it must have taken. Thanks for sharing.
I am always happy to share those experiences.
A beautiful read, Serena. My condolences on the loss of your Uncle. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about presence. As a parent to a teen with health challenges this resonated deeply.
Thanks Tracy! So glad it resonated deeply. I've been thinking about both how we need presence as parents and how we can offer presence to our kids with health challenges... both are true. Hugs to you!