11 Comments

This right here! As parents, we have to learn the hard truth that our children are not always a reflection of us. They are their own person with their own unique view of the world, personalities, insecurities etc. We have to work on releasing any guilt and shame and hold space for our children as a safe haven when they're struggling.

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I love how you phrased this - about being a safe haven for our kids and releasing what gets in the way of that. It’s so hard but so important!

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I'm glad that resonates!

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I love that you include resources for parents and families who may be desperate for help. Happy to be a part of this village.

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Sep 15Liked by Serena Menken

Thank you!

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Sep 15Liked by Serena Menken

Love all the resources, thanks Serena!

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You’re welcome! :)

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Serena, you are a huge contribution to others who have contended, are contending, or might did themselves facing this challenging disease and dynamic.

I had amazing parents, and growing up my brother and one of my sisters had an eating disorder. My brother’s daughter had anorexia as well and has moved through it now.

I appreciated this sentence:

“Eventually, with the help of wise friends and therapists, my husband and I released those unproductive questions to focus on being part of the solution.”

The awareness and humility resonant in that perspective is inspiring and applies to so many dynamics in families and marriages.

Thank you 🙏

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Thanks for sharing about your family’s journey, @James Bailey. I’m hoping that everyone has found healing. Thanks for mentioning your brother’s challenges, too - there’s such a focus on women with eating disorders and men often get overlooked unfortunately.

I love that you named how amazing your parents are! Yes, there is humility in admitting that this can happen to anyone, just like any illness.

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Hi back Serena. Yes, my brother was bullied a bit in grade school for being chubby - even back then - he’s 59 now.

My parents were indeed amazing. That didn’t mean they didn’t have their flaws. They did the best they could which was pretty great. One of my early Substack pieces was a letter I wrote to my daughters about my dad. In case you’re interested. He was pretty special.

https://open.substack.com/pub/anaudienceoftwo/p/life-enriching-relationships?r=3bqj2&utm_medium=ios

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author

Thanks for sharing this, James! I’m excited to read it. And I feel for your brother….

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