“You’ve trusted God this far. Can you take an extra step to trust God when you cannot see the way forward?”
Such a profound question! Very relatable read for me as a former special needs caregiver for my twin grandsons with multiple special needs.
I raised them for 4 years, between the ages of 3 and 7, during the worst of their needs. Helped get them diagnosed, to the specialists, monitored their diet and play, all the things.
Then came time to transition back to their mom, my daughter. We did it over the course of a year but it was so hard to let them go and trust their care would continue.
I put my trust in God and trusted that my daughter was healed enough to get them back and make good decisions.
It's so hard. But you've done so many hard things already. You can do this one too! 💖
Dawn, thanks so much for sharing your story! I'm so impressed by how you cared for your grandsons with so much thoughtfulness. I can only imagine how hard it was to let them go into your daughter's hands. What a great model for the rest of us. Thanks for your encouragement.
Serena, Thank you for replying and acknowledging my comment! Parenthood is such an interesting journey. It is definitely not a set path. Everyone's journey is so different from the next. And what we envision for our parenting journey often looks and ends up completely different. We truly grow along with our children if we allow it.
So well-said, Dawn! I agree - parenting is like an unexpected adventure that shows us so much about ourselves as well as our kids! and yes to the opportunities for growth!
“Other times, I furiously write down my worries on little pieces of paper and put them in a box or in a candle, where I can burn them. It’s one more way of releasing my fears to God.”
So beautiful Serena.
Trust and letting go are acts of faith. Your faith is strong and strengthening one threshold crossing at a time.
Thank you for helping, through your story and example, to strengthen mine. 🙏
My grown son, my only child, is moving out this week, which is not to say I know what you're going through. He's fully healthy and well adjusted in every respect (though he may find he'll have a tough time keeping on top of the housework!). And yet it still feels big and scary.
My relationship with God changed close to a decade ago due to some life events that challenged my beliefs, and reading your section on trust in God gave me some clue into the anxiety I've experienced since then. For me, it would have been useless to continue to believe in God as I learned that unspeakable things can happen even when you do. But maybe we trust anyway, because that's all we can do. The alternative is perpetual catastrophising. The thought of God has not been so objectionable to me lately, and I'm wondering are my beliefs shifting again. I know there's something more, whatever that is. I'm willing to try to trust in that.
Wishing you and your whole family a peaceful and successful transition into this new phase.
Thanks for sharing your journey, Martina. I think it's big and scary whenever our kids go through a huge life transition and especially in moving out of our homes and into their own spaces. I hope it all goes well for your family. It sounds like we'll have similar experiences of noticing our child's absence, wondering how they are doing, and adjusting to life without them at the dinner table.
I love that you are identifying and sharing your journey with God and the anxiety you've experienced. I understand how hard life events can challenge our relationship with God and make us wonder if God is even listening to our prayers. I hear your pain underneath whatever those events were. I have also had to work my way through hard questions like, "Where was God when xyz happened? Why did that happen?" and have tried to support my daughter in her questions. I have found that God welcomes both our questions and our pain, and provides unexpected responses.
Sending you the same wishes for a beautiful transition to a new season!
Martina, I relate with you about the shifting belief in God. For me, I've come to a belief there is a creator, and there is an energy that permeates the universe and all creation, which is the energy of love. But the God I was raised to believe in through the twisted lens of extreme independent fundamental Baptist Christianity, is not that God. That God is toxic, very similar to being in a relationship with a narcissist who keeps you held down with fear and control.
Thank you for this. Your belief sounds comforting; to think it is love that ties it all together is truly life-affirming. I would do well to remember this when the occasion calls for it. I’m glad you were able to distance yourself from what you can see is unhealthy. I hope that applies in all circumstances and throughout life, for you and for all of us.
I'm praying for your family and for Ellie to have a wonderful time at school. A great support system is everything and it sounds like she has it! Your trust is well-placed. 🙏
Thanks so much, Chris! I appreciate the ways you model so much of this - embracing uncertainty, finding new ways forward, determination and perseverance!
Thank you for gifting us with your vulnerability so openly and with such love for your daughter, Serena. I feel blessed to read how you navigate your journey and inspired by your faith.
Sitting alongside you in empathy with my big mug of tea. No words, just alongside you.
Thank you for sharing this story and your vulnerability. As a parent of a young adult who had severe health issues and continues to have challenges this clearly resonated. My son is starting college also but locally so the decision to move was not an issue and certainly makes it much easier. Wishing your daughter a great semester surrounded by a supportive community and wishing you continued faith during this next transition.
I can relate to so much of this, being a mother of a teen who has been seriously ill and is now making the transition to a new school. I admire you and Ellie so much, reading this has given me the courage to face the next few days.
Thank you, Serena. The timing of reading this is a blessing. As I think you know, my two oldest moved into an apartment together a few months ago, and learning to let go of them has been pretty hard. I need so badly to trust in God for the things I cannot control now (which is basically everything).
I’m so glad @Margaret Ann Silver! I am totally with you in trusting God for the things I cannot control, which are many. I want to keep hearing how it’s going for your two oldest kids. Hang in there!
“You’ve trusted God this far. Can you take an extra step to trust God when you cannot see the way forward?”
Such a profound question! Very relatable read for me as a former special needs caregiver for my twin grandsons with multiple special needs.
I raised them for 4 years, between the ages of 3 and 7, during the worst of their needs. Helped get them diagnosed, to the specialists, monitored their diet and play, all the things.
Then came time to transition back to their mom, my daughter. We did it over the course of a year but it was so hard to let them go and trust their care would continue.
I put my trust in God and trusted that my daughter was healed enough to get them back and make good decisions.
It's so hard. But you've done so many hard things already. You can do this one too! 💖
Dawn, thanks so much for sharing your story! I'm so impressed by how you cared for your grandsons with so much thoughtfulness. I can only imagine how hard it was to let them go into your daughter's hands. What a great model for the rest of us. Thanks for your encouragement.
Serena, Thank you for replying and acknowledging my comment! Parenthood is such an interesting journey. It is definitely not a set path. Everyone's journey is so different from the next. And what we envision for our parenting journey often looks and ends up completely different. We truly grow along with our children if we allow it.
So well-said, Dawn! I agree - parenting is like an unexpected adventure that shows us so much about ourselves as well as our kids! and yes to the opportunities for growth!
“Other times, I furiously write down my worries on little pieces of paper and put them in a box or in a candle, where I can burn them. It’s one more way of releasing my fears to God.”
So beautiful Serena.
Trust and letting go are acts of faith. Your faith is strong and strengthening one threshold crossing at a time.
Thank you for helping, through your story and example, to strengthen mine. 🙏
James - you're welcome. I'm so glad for the ways your stories also strengthen me. Thanks for cheering us on!
My grown son, my only child, is moving out this week, which is not to say I know what you're going through. He's fully healthy and well adjusted in every respect (though he may find he'll have a tough time keeping on top of the housework!). And yet it still feels big and scary.
My relationship with God changed close to a decade ago due to some life events that challenged my beliefs, and reading your section on trust in God gave me some clue into the anxiety I've experienced since then. For me, it would have been useless to continue to believe in God as I learned that unspeakable things can happen even when you do. But maybe we trust anyway, because that's all we can do. The alternative is perpetual catastrophising. The thought of God has not been so objectionable to me lately, and I'm wondering are my beliefs shifting again. I know there's something more, whatever that is. I'm willing to try to trust in that.
Wishing you and your whole family a peaceful and successful transition into this new phase.
Thanks for sharing your journey, Martina. I think it's big and scary whenever our kids go through a huge life transition and especially in moving out of our homes and into their own spaces. I hope it all goes well for your family. It sounds like we'll have similar experiences of noticing our child's absence, wondering how they are doing, and adjusting to life without them at the dinner table.
I love that you are identifying and sharing your journey with God and the anxiety you've experienced. I understand how hard life events can challenge our relationship with God and make us wonder if God is even listening to our prayers. I hear your pain underneath whatever those events were. I have also had to work my way through hard questions like, "Where was God when xyz happened? Why did that happen?" and have tried to support my daughter in her questions. I have found that God welcomes both our questions and our pain, and provides unexpected responses.
Sending you the same wishes for a beautiful transition to a new season!
Thank you, Serena! I’ll try to keep open for those unexpected responses.
Martina, I relate with you about the shifting belief in God. For me, I've come to a belief there is a creator, and there is an energy that permeates the universe and all creation, which is the energy of love. But the God I was raised to believe in through the twisted lens of extreme independent fundamental Baptist Christianity, is not that God. That God is toxic, very similar to being in a relationship with a narcissist who keeps you held down with fear and control.
Thank you for this. Your belief sounds comforting; to think it is love that ties it all together is truly life-affirming. I would do well to remember this when the occasion calls for it. I’m glad you were able to distance yourself from what you can see is unhealthy. I hope that applies in all circumstances and throughout life, for you and for all of us.
I'm glad my words resonated!
I'm praying for your family and for Ellie to have a wonderful time at school. A great support system is everything and it sounds like she has it! Your trust is well-placed. 🙏
Thanks so much, Chris! I appreciate the ways you model so much of this - embracing uncertainty, finding new ways forward, determination and perseverance!
Thank you for gifting us with your vulnerability so openly and with such love for your daughter, Serena. I feel blessed to read how you navigate your journey and inspired by your faith.
Sitting alongside you in empathy with my big mug of tea. No words, just alongside you.
Love having your presence alongside me, Victoria. It makes me smile to think of you with your mug of tea and your support. :)
And custard creams ;-) xoxo
Thank you for sharing this story and your vulnerability. As a parent of a young adult who had severe health issues and continues to have challenges this clearly resonated. My son is starting college also but locally so the decision to move was not an issue and certainly makes it much easier. Wishing your daughter a great semester surrounded by a supportive community and wishing you continued faith during this next transition.
Thanks for sharing, @Tracy Mansolillo! Sounds like we have a lot in common. I hope your son has a great first year in college!
Thank you!
I pray God will give you the strength to carry on.
Thank you, Francis! That's so kind!
I can relate to so much of this, being a mother of a teen who has been seriously ill and is now making the transition to a new school. I admire you and Ellie so much, reading this has given me the courage to face the next few days.
Oh thanks so much, @Treasa Purcell! I’m sorry for your teen’s illness and I totally relate. I hope the transition goes well - let me know!
Thank you, Serena. The timing of reading this is a blessing. As I think you know, my two oldest moved into an apartment together a few months ago, and learning to let go of them has been pretty hard. I need so badly to trust in God for the things I cannot control now (which is basically everything).
I’m so glad @Margaret Ann Silver! I am totally with you in trusting God for the things I cannot control, which are many. I want to keep hearing how it’s going for your two oldest kids. Hang in there!